By Kim D.
Growing up with my big brothers was difficult. I was the youngest of three and they wanted nothing to do with me. We forged a friendship throughout our adult life but we still clash at times.
My oldest brother Ben is the polar opposite of me. He’s an ex cop, military reserve, and a Republican. I’m not any of those things. I took the artist’s path and have never really aligned with this government and its systems.
Ben and I only speak a few times a year, some years more than others. Yesterday, I spoke with him about the state of the elections and why Trump refuses to concede. When I answered the phone he said, “How’s my communist sister?” To which I responded, “How’s my fascist brother?”
Every right wing talking point I matched with the counter point. We were litigating the transfer of power and calls of rampant fraud. We do not agree. As I look up articles to show how many cases were already thrown out from lack of evidence, he looks up cases that are still pending or had minor process wins but did not result in any votes turning one way or the other.
He said, “But there is an application that the voting machines in Michigan were tampered with.” I asked him what he would have done if Hillary hadn’t conceded.
We went back and forth for over an hour. It was exhausting. But, at the end of the call I said, “I love you,” and he said, “I love you too.”
My takeaway from our conversations is that he has completely given up on this government being fair at all and he is angry about the corruption in government but he has directed it all to the Democrats.
However, no matter what happens in politics, we continue our relationship based on love. If we become estranged because of our ideologies, the system that benefits from dividing us wins.
It’s easy to write off or vilify those you disagree with politically when you don’t know them personally. Having family on “the other side” has made me realize that even when we see things differently, we are all ultimately on the same side.

Kim D. is an artist, activist and mom living in Southern California with a family of people and animals that she loves with her whole heart.
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